This is NOT why I came onto the blog to post this, but....I just read that Erma Bombeck article on the side of the blog again..it makes me tear up everytime I read it! I know my special needs mommy friends from the CP board know exactly what it's all about... I try not to let this blog be a downer, but every once in a while, I have to let everyone see that I am human, too. There are some days that i don't think I can last a lifetime dealing with the issues I (we) will have to deal with. I don't even have dreams anymore about Sammy talking or walking because I think my sunconcious knows that it is too painful to wake up from them and realize it was all a dream... We saw a hayperson on North St. the other day (an art display that Pittsfield has put on--they're like dressed up scarecrows) that was made by people from UCP that had leg braces on and had a ballerina outfit and wings on and it was called "I believe I can fly". It really gave me a lump in my throat. There are moments that are VERY few and far between nowadays that I feel down or discouraged, I feel like Sam has gotten me over the self-pity and resentment of it all after that first really hard 18 months. If there are times that I feel sorry for myself that I have to deal with this, i look at him, and see how he just sees himself as normal and just "Sammy" and I have to snap out of it.... he is the strongest person in this whole thing...not me...I know people say, "oh, you're so strong"... but I can walk, I can talk, I can play...it's not me that is strong... he is the one who holds us all together when we feel like we can't take any more bad news or issues...or meds...or seizures... or therapy....or idiot therapists or unfeeling specialists...

Life as it is is normal for us now...i know everbody on the outside sees us as dealing with so much, and we do, but the other day it occured to me that we just take it in stride...everything has become so normal for us... i guess it's a good thing at this point...a coping mechanism... things are still difficult, but you really do learn to adapt... human beings are amazing creatures...and so is my Sammy..........

Dr. Dempsey spends the entire well-child visit talking to me and his medical student about what Sam is and isn't doing and how his tone looks,etc. As is the norm for EVERY visit to EVERY doctor.... well, at the end of this visit, he mentioned how tall Sammy would probably be when he grows up...it took me by surprise...i think my jaw hit the floor...to hear something "normal" said about my child that for once wasn't connected in some way to his CP... I thanked him for adding that and explained that we never get "normal" kid fun check-up stuff said to us...it also made me sad later that I had to be thankful for that.... such is life...

Anywho....the REAL reason I got on right now was to post pics of the house progress....we have the gable end up!! And he is now putting up the kitchen wall so he can do the roof!! Yippee! :)

The bundles are almost all gone!